Patients and Patience in the Eternal Presence of Healing

2.5.2016

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dreams-and-visions-of-the-dying_us_56b24a88e4b04f9b57d81b9d?cps=gravity_5017_1252256921861042625

January 15, 2016 was the 29th anniversary of my first dance with the arching angles of Death. This initial experience of dying did far more than change my ideas about living; gone was the fear of death hammered into me by family, preachers and supposed teachers; in an instant my terror of being misunderstood, judged and a verdict rendered “Unworthy”, evaporated. In its place was the engulfing presence of unconditional compassion whose veracity catalysed the unassailable realisation that the life I had erroneously thought I was living was pure fiction. My absolute reluctance to return was only slightly weaker than the intent of one who was determined to pull me back.

Three weeks later, my heart stopped again, this time for no discernible reason. Au contraire. In an experience many consider a ‘dream’ I was presented with a choice; that I could live or go home, die. It was not an easy decision then, and today thinking about that moment causes tears to overflow… Eternity, no time and timelessness….. So it is that this weekend brings me to what is perhaps the most important anniversary in my life. 07 February, its 29-years since that cold night in Chicago when I said ‘Yes’, agreeing to stay. Simply put, dying gave me my reason for living.

Those who know me best know that keeping my commitment has come at a high cost, a price most would be unwilling to pay.

The video you will see here may help you understand why I have never wavered. Dr. Christopher Kerr is one of my new ‘heroes’, spending day after day nurturing those who are dying, and in their progress he has been embraced by pure grace. I share his message and stories with more than a modicum of hope that hearing his words might help some of those I love understand why doing what I do has never been an option. Many espouse the belief that God is the single most important factor in their lives; consulted in every decision they make. Tragically, examination of the evidence leaves me wondering what happened to Love? even though their lives present evidence to the contrary.

Thankfully, my NDEs are no longer anecdotal, and what I experienced —the Mereon Matrix— was retrieved and is daily being further recalled and constructed. It continues to provide evidence that we are walking a living continuum, knowledge that supports the growing realisation that life continues beyond what we think of as ‘dying’. This video was a powerful reminder of why I am able to keep on keeping on despite many emotional ‘deaths’, pain, personal loss and ongoing grief caused by emotional paper-cuts. Choosing to live and speak what is true for me, mapping what is to date the simplest known ligature, connection of Love, has led to my being severed from former friends and dearly loved relatives. While I am the first to admit that there are that the sorrow feels never-ending, thankfully, being free to express my sadness, and powerful reminders such as this video carry me through, living a life filled with breakthroughs rather than the breakdown some might ‘wish’.

Sadly, love is too often conditional, relative to what we say or do. Perhaps if our relatives and those we love understood relativity, that the laws of physics, how things, including loving relationships work, are the same everywhere, our lives might change as well as how we live every breath on the edge of death whether we like it or not.

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Unconditional Love

thoughts this day2

Tuesday? It must be Milan

sonic silkO-Dark30 came early, 04:30 to be precise, another travel day as I make my way to San Francisco for a couple of days and then up to the splendor of Lake Tahoe. While Purpose driven, this time has been intentionally carved out for some self-care and to spend time with friends and family.

Continue reading Tuesday? It must be Milan

The Source of a Tenacious and Persistent Bliss

diablogue 25 january 2016 persistent blissFor 29-years it has been an unimaginable joy to discover how Purpose let’s me recover authenticity. It directs the Flow, letting me grow even as it steadfastly forms and reforms my spirit. purpose, continuously reshapes space and time, allowing meaning to carve sacred places in which I am free to lovingly express my heart, ideas and spirit in measurable ways.

All traditions and cultures proclaim the rainbow a symbol of promise. The Promise is ours to fulfil by sharing its beauty through silence, tone, music, art, numbers, letters, words and deeds.

What will your life reflect into the world this day?

Finishing what we begin

One of the most wonderful feelings has to be that of ‘completion’, finishing something that we begin.

in my mothers garden doneToday I finished a triptic that I began this fall entitled “In my mother’s Garden”. The truth is it often felt like this piece was doing something to me far more than I was painting it. A ‘memory picture’ it was inspired by a photograph I took outside my parent’s kitchen window the last time I saw my Mom. It was early spring, and that day the first fern broke through the still crusty earth.

Hanging in my dining room, this piece serves as a reminder that as we open and unfurl to reach for the light we experience growth. It reminds me that what I grow in my life generates the seeds that will grow into our Future.

What’s growing in your life? Are you ready to harvest the potential?

Gambling with the Future

lochars solstice morning 20152015 Winter Solstice Sunrise over St. Andrews, Scotland

There’s a series of commercials running on UK television for the national lottery that are supposed to be funny, but from my perspective, topple over into tragic. Each features a caste member from the ‘rich and shameless’ who pretends to parody basking in the limelight, arrogantly acting out their narcissistic plan if they win. After they’re done, a droll voice over begs viewers to please go buy a lottery ticket so this idiot doesn’t win. The audience then gets one more hammer blow to the brain, the message —“You have to play to win.”, which is of course accompanied by the small print at the bottom of the screen that reminds viewers with words to the effect “Know your limits. Play within it.”

Unfortunately, those who are seduced by the lotto’s lure of big money for a pound usually don’t have enough money to begin with. Too often I’ve heard teachers tell stories about kids not having lunch or milk money because of their parent’s ‘spending’ habits. How many kid’s college funds have been lost due to such an addiction?

The dogman of too many supposedly ‘spiritual’ belief systems confuse the concept of ‘abundance’ with the sick notion that more money will make them better or bigger than they are now. For many such a belief has turned into an excuse for greed. What I find particularly heart breaking is witnessing this plague affect those who are best known for consistently giving their all.

Too many are wasting our time and the planet’s resources, turning life on this planet into a crap shoot. Albert Einstein once said he didn’t think g-d played dice; while unsure, I’m unwilling to gamble away the gift of a single breath, a penny, or the Future.

A lifetime is a precious gift. We are not slaves. It is our bond with all creation that allows us to equally savour and spend every breath.

What are you investing your life and time into today?

 

Pansies in December :)

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Wherever the day takes you do what you can to make magic and celebrate miracles, and in the progress discover that these are the very qualities that make you who you are!